LooksGayButClaimsHeIsn’t: Hi baby!
(Insert some indecipherable blabber in Bengali here.)
LooksGayButClaimsHeIsn’t: You have really soft hands (grabbing ILoveGayBoys’ hands).
ILoveGayBoys (secretly liking it): Chhee! Let go of me!
Me: This could construe as sexual harassment in the workplace you know. ILoveGayBoys, you should throw our Code of Conduct book at him!
LooksGayButClaimsHeIsn’t: Dude she’s my wife!
Me: She’s my bachchi! You can’t sexually harass her…
ILoveGayBoys: So sweet…
Me: …at least not in here! I have no issues if you harass her outside office!
(A revelation strikes me.)
Me: NOW I get it! Now I understand why you guys have such cool chemistry!!!
ILoveGayBoys & LooksGayButClaimsHeIsn’t: Why?
Me: There’s a reason I’ve chosen your blog nicknames you know…
(A revelation strikes them. Protesting cries emanate.)
Me (ignoring everything): BTW, what do you call a slutty Bong chick?
Me: A Bonk! Get it! Hahahahahaha!
SpaceCadet (letting go of Second Life for a rare moment): What? What do you call a warped Bong chick?
Me: No, no! That answer’s either SpaceCadet or ILoveGayBoys!
(Now I’m surrounded by two angry Bong girls and one angry alleged Bong guy.)
ILoveGayBoys: But that’s true ya! SpaceCadet is so spaced out!
Me: Yes, I always imagine her with a bubble around her head.
(SpaceCadet gives me a dirty look.)
Me: Earth to SpaceCadet! Earth to SpaceCadet!
SpaceCadet (spacing out): Hey, does anyone want some sponge cake?
(Three chimes of “Yes!”)
LooksGayButClaimsHeIsn’t: I’ll call for a knife!
Me: And coffee!
ILoveGayBoys & SpaceCadet: Coffee!
LooksGayButClaimsHeIsn’t (on the phone to the canteen): Pick up, you wankers! Hello, haan, Samit ke yahaan teen coffee aur chaku bhejna, ILoveGayBoys ka birthday hai, cake aur boss ko kaatna hai!
Me (in splits): Teen coffee aur chaku! Hahahahahaha! (Joined by others.)
SpaceCadet: That should be a film title man!
PS: For all those who may ask, “What is the insight here?” I reply, “Ad agency folks have really random conversations.”
PPS: Teen = Three. Aur = And. Chaku = Knife. Bhejna = Send. All non-Indians and ABCDs, you’re welcome.